


Surprise

by LadyNightingGaleofMilvania



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Background Gladnis and Promptis in their respective sections, First half is primarily Gladnis, Gladnis, I wrote a comedy???, M/M, Poor Cake, Poor Everyone if We're Being Honest, Promptis - Freeform, Say WHAAAAAAT, Second half is primarily Promptis, Silly, cup noodles - freeform, poor Gladio, poor ignis, puns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-17
Updated: 2019-08-17
Packaged: 2020-09-06 08:14:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20288293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyNightingGaleofMilvania/pseuds/LadyNightingGaleofMilvania
Summary: Noctis, Prompto, and Gladiolus want to surprise Ignis for his birthday. What ensues ends up being hilarity.





	Surprise

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bluebottle762](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluebottle762/gifts).

> I wrote this for my friend Blue, who is not only an awesome person, but an AMAZING writer as well! Go check out his stuff! (my personal favorite is the Howl's Moving Castle AU!)

Ignis walked around the Lestallum market stalls, perusing all the foods and spices that the town had to offer. Noctis had refused to join them in favor of a nap, and Prompto pointed out that someone may as well stick around to make sure tht nothing happened to him. Gladiolus was the only one who seemed to be up for even getting out of the hotel room, although Ignis had the feeling that it was only to escape Iris and Talcott who had both recently taken up to sticking to him like they were glued together.

“So what do we need, Iggy?” Gladio asked, poking at a basket of herbs.

“We need to gather more food for our journey, as of now we’re sorely lacking,” Ignis replied, examining a bunch of beans.

“So stuff like cup noodles?”

Ignis looked up to Gladio’s giant grin with a flat look of unamusement.

“Be that as it may, cup noodles are far from the list of foods I’m planning to acquire.”

Gladio sighed, a look of mock despair on his face at the response, causing Ignis to breathe out through his nose in an attempt not to laugh at his absurd boyfriend. He moved on from the beans to the basket Gladiolus was prodding, picking up one bundle and looking at the leaves. Once deemed satisfactory, Ignis placed it in a bag and paid the person behind the booth.

“What was that?” Gladio questioned, trying to get a look in the bag.

“Thyme,” Ignis replied, already looking at more vegetables.

“Like… as in a clock?”

A deep sigh was all that Ignis could manage as he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“Don’t you have a watch? You know what time it is better than me.”

“No,” Ignis started, trying to remain calm, “Not _ time _ , it’s _ thyme _. T-H-Y-M-E. You use it to cook.”

“That’s why I love cup noodles! They already have spices and you don’t have to worry about getting that stuff! The only time you gotta watch is the clock!”

At this Ignis struggled for a response, only to come up empty. Gladio was going to drive him mad before day’s end, he could just feel it. As he grew more convinced of his slowly slipping sanity, Ignis turned back to grab some potatoes, rearranging the bag and paying before Gladio opened his mouth again.

“Oh man, I love potatoes! Boil ‘em! Mash ‘em! Stick ‘em in a stew!”

_ The only one about to be mashed is you, Gladiolus… _Ignis thought to himself as they began to pick out spices.

“Hey, Iggy!” Gladio called, Ignis seeing a glass bottle in his hands when he turned, “You’re _ cumin _ with me!”

_ Ah, _ Ignis thought, _ now I see why everyone hates it when I make a pun. _

“I hear that this spice was blessed by the Astrals themselves!” Gladio continued, holding up a bottle that read _ Six Spice _.

On and on the puns went, and Ignis silently swore never to make another on pain of death. At one point he relented and dragged his boyfriend to the nearest cup noodle truck in an attempt to stop the seemingly endless lines of puns and supposedly witty banter, even going as far as buying a cup for himself after striking a deal that Gladio remained silent for the rest of the trip. As they made their way back to the hotel to eat their ramen a phone dinged, causing Ignis to pull out his phone to find nothing.

“Everything alright, Gladio?” he asked, looking behind to see Gladio tapping away quickly on his phone.

“Yeah, Noctis and Prompto are tryin’ to get me to play King’s Knight when we get back,” Gladio replied, rolling his eyes as he shoved the phone back in his pocket.

Ascending the steps, Ignis could already hear a raucous noise from their shared room, no doubt. Once he slid the room card over the lock─hearing the _ click! _ of it being registered─and then opened the door, only to have his nose assaulted with the cloying scents of citrus and lavender.

“What in the names of the Astrals have you been doing in here?” Ignis demanded through breaths of scent-choked air.

“We were having a spray war!” Prompto cheered, spraying Noctis in the back of the head with an orange can.

“Hey!” Noctis shouted, turning to face Prompto, the back of his head dripping with the scented spray, “That’s cheating!”

“All’s fair in love and war,” Prompto said with a devilish wink that had no doubt been picked up from Gladio.

Ignis tried to take a breath through his nose but was immediately smothered by the smells coming from the overuse of scented freshener sprays, effectively killing his nose. Quickly setting the food onto the kitchen counter, Ignis went to the farthest wall, seeing Gladio stick Noctis in a headlock as soon as he rounded the corner, from the corner of his eye Ignis could see Prompto doubled over laughing. The first order of business was to open the windows to the balcony in an attempt to let in any sort of breeze so that the whole area could be cleared out of the offending scents.

“I’ll make those noodles,” Gladio’s retreating voice called out, “Just let me stick ‘em in the microwave.”

“If you ever bothered to read the cups, they say not to _ ‘stick them in the microwave,’ _” Ignis informed as he heard Gladio open and then immediately shut what was presumably the microwave door, “Styrofoam is bad for them.”

“Right, I’ll just heat up some water, then.”

While Gladio did that, Ignis stood on the small balcony they had, breathing in the hot and humid air of the Lestallum streets. He saw children playing in the fountain with their hands as their parents dip their own hands with them. Couples tittered amongst themselves, seemingly oblivious as the world shrunk to just each other. Vendors with their carts were calling out their hot and fresh foods, the scents wafting through the air around him strong enough to smell through the sprays. Before he knew it, Gladio joined him on the balcony with a cup of ramen in each hand.

“Here,” he said, holding out one cup to Ignis.

While Ignis himself had never been a fan of instant noodles, he could understand the appeal. He also had to admit that it certainly tasted nicer than some of the simple meals he ate while still in Insomnia. Unfortunately, he would still have to cook since he doubted that Prompto and Noctis had yet to eat anything since he had cooked that morning, so his enjoyment of the large amounts of salty noodles and broth was to be short-lived, or at least so he thought as Gladio downed the last of his own cup.

“Listen, since it’s your birthday I’ll make dinner for the other two while you shower,” Gladio offered, leaning against Ignis as he stirred the flavor in his cup for the umpteenth time.

Surprise ran through Ignis, he never expected to be given the night off from cooking, it simply had never been done in all his years of service. A soft, appreciative smile made its way to his lips as he pressed a kiss to Gladio’s forehead. Ignis took his time finishing the noodles, taking them cups and silverware to the kitchen to dispose of before walking into the bathroom and shutting the door.

Once turning on the hot water Ignis took a sigh of relief. While it was indeed hot and humid in the city, the heat and humidity were always different in a shower. No matter what, it was always pleasant, so long as the water remained warm. Once he stripped down and stepped in Ignis couldn’t help but let out a sigh of happiness and bliss. Indeed, it was the little things that brought him joy, showers being near the top of the list of things he enjoyed. After a few moments of the luxurious heat, Ignis began to soap up his hair and body, washing off the grime that had settled on his skin over the last few days. The squeaking of door hinges gave away that someone had entered the room.

“Yes?” Ignis said, sticking his head in the water momentarily to rinse his scalp before pulling it back out quickly at the sound of a voice.

“Hey babe, thought you’d enjoy some company.”

“While I would ordinarily agree on your offer, tonight I’ll decline. Besides, aren’t you cooking?”

“Ah, I’m just boiling water right now, don’t you wanna do a little something?”

“Not currently, no.”

What was Gladio doing? It was like he was purposely trying to antagonize him today, but what would that accomplish? As part of Gladio’s head popped out behind the curtain just enough for the two to see each other Ignis breathed out sharply through his nose, letting out a noise of frustration as a missed cluster of shampoo suds fell into his eye.

“Not even to help wash your back?”

“Gladiolus, if you don’t get out of this bathroom right now I’m going to shove a bottle of shampoo up your ass!” Ignis shouted, his frustration mounting by the second as he tried to get the soap from his eye.

“Mmmmm, kinky,” came Gladio’s low rumble.

Ignis immediately grabbed the shampoo bottle, thankfully distinct by its unique shape, and threw it. Quickly afterward he heard the sound of the bathroom door opening and shutting, meaning that he was thankfully alone. No more did he want to know why Gladiolus was being the way he was, now he just wanted to be alone for a bit to take time for himself to both cool off─figuratively, as the water was close to scalding─and enjoy a moment’s peace as a gift to himself for becoming another year older.

Twenty minutes later Ignis shut the water off reluctantly, no matter how much he wished to stay in the heated water he knew that the responsibilities he bore would still be waiting on the other side of the bathroom door, and he would rather confront them again sooner rather than later. As he toweled off and pulled on new clothes a scuffle could be heard from just outside the door. Reaching for the knob, Ignis discovered that it wouldn’t budge. Trying again, he realized that it was more than moisture preventing him from opening the door, someone must have been holding it shut.

_ “Gladiolus, I swear to the gods damned Astrals, if you don’t open this door you’ll have a lot more than a bottle of shampoo to be scared of!” _ Ignis shouted, banging on the door.

“Uhhh─” came Gladio’s cracking disembodied voice from the other side.

_ “What do you mean ‘uhhh?’” _

“The door is jammed?”

Feeble jiggling from the handle immediately followed, only succeeding in Ignis’ growing frustration after having just gotten out of the shower and being stuck in a humid, hot room. Banging on the door wouldn’t help the situation, but at this point, it would more than likely manage to help him feel better, a not-so-silent oath to all on the opposite side that his wrath was nigh. Another ten minutes had gone by and Ignis had stopped pounding on the door, his reward for literally pounding out his frustrations earning him little more than a sore fist and a crack in the wooden door. Now he simply plotted exactly how he would repay Gladio, Noctis, and Prompto for their “kindness” of trying to help unjam the not-jammed door. The occasional sound of jiggling would remind him of the fact that it could only be Gladio holding the door shut, Prompto and Noctis not nearly strong enough to overpower Ignis himself.

Finally, the door opened a crack, rapidly retreating footsteps following. The first thing Ignis did was compose himself. They would be expecting him to fly into a frenzy after the show he made, but it would be far more terrifying if he simply walked out of the room. After a long, deep breath Ignis strode out as calmly as he could manage, sparing a glance into the main room─_ wait… _

Ignis glanced back again. Gladio, Noctis, and Prompto were huddling around a horrifyingly damaged cake stuck with dozens of unlit candles, in fact, that seemed to be the not-so-hushed topic of the three.

“What the do you _ mean _we don’t have a lighter?” Noctis demanded incredulously.

“Dude, we use _ magic _, we don’t normally need lighters,” Prompto responded.

“Yeah, we normally don’t need to be that precise when throwing them at daemons or starting a campfire,” Gladio continued.

Ignis couldn’t help it, he snorted, all the frustration of the day seeming to somehow melt away at the sight of the others around a sad excuse of a cake crammed with candles while arguing over why none of them had yet to procure a lighter. The scene was just too absurd, too unreal. From the poorly frosted cake, hiding only gods-know-what beneath the sugary surface, to the three of them huddled around it arguing over how to light the wicks on the candles that poked out of most of the top surface of the desert.

“Happy birthday?” they said in failed unison, only causing Ignis to laugh harder, tears streaming from his eyes at this point.

“Sorry about today Iggy, but we wanted to surprise you,” Gladio admitted in apology.

“Yeah, you do so much for us, the least we could do was make you a cake,” Prompto added.

“Well, mostly a cake. Dunno how good it’ll be, but hey, at least it looks like one,” Noctis finished with a shrug.

“You three are aware that there are better ways to distract me than puns and locking me away in the bathroom?” Ignis laughed, sitting down on the edge of a bed.

“Puns?” Noctis asked, looking at the other two, seeing Gladio’s grin.

“No way. Gladio, you made _ puns _ at Ignis?” Prompto said, shocked.

“Damn right, I did,” Gladio responded proudly, “It was hard as hell, too!”

As Ignis’ laughter finally subsided they cut into the cake. It was dry and crumbling, but he loved it anyway. There was nothing sweeter than finding that your friends had gone out of their way to do something kind, even if it happened to be a sad little cake.

_ Happy birthday to me, _ Ignis thought to himself as he smiled.


End file.
